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Originally Posted by fitnessgirrl Everytime I say or do something he relates it back to this 'personality disorder' that he is nw convinced I have. (Maybe I do but still...) It's really making me stressed, frustrated and depressed. I am beginning to feel like maybe I really am mentally unstable and dysfunctional. 
No one has ever done anything like this with me before and it is very unsettling.
Is he trying to take the focus off of himself? |
YEP, he is. He sounds exactly like a good friend of mine, who I'm stuck with because we run a business together. He has a major Vicodin addiction, and even beforehand he was somewhat of a control freak.
His most common tactic lately is to keep taunting and baiting me, trying to make me angry. Then the moment I show any kind of upset reaction, he tries to use it as evidence that the problem is with *my* attitude, and the only reason he acts the way he does is because of my "issues". I almost started believing it until I talked to his girlfriend and a few other people, and they all said he does the same thing to them.
Every time anyone tries to talk to him about his Vicodin addiction, he always shifts the conversation to how he is worried about his friends who drink too much. Same deal--it's primarily a defense mechanism to try and take the focus off themselves, as you pointed out. I believe the psychological term is "projection"- they're taking things they don't like about themselves and projecting them onto other people.
And of course it's also possible that dealing with such crap from someone you care about is causing you to become angry and/or depressed, so you should step back and assess your own state of mind from time to time as well. It can also put you in a state where you're more likely to turn to drugs as an escape. Please don't go there. Good luck, I know how trying it can be.