| self-pity
Please help.
I don't know why, but I go out over self-pity. I feel sorry for myself because when I get a little time, people think that I'm "okay now". But, I'm not. I don't know how to ask for help. I just know how to play the victim. So, I react by running away from my sober friends and using. Poor me, pour me, thing. I am so sick of this behavior, it's so maladaptive. Why do I think that I am the only one on this earth that is mistreated? And why do people in recovery think that just because you are not a newcomer anymore that you don't need the same TLC? Well, I've got twelve days now anyway, but I can see a pattern and I don't want to go out again because I'm feeling "neglected". I know I need a therapist, but I can't find one that understands the dual diagnosis...depression/substance abuse. My depression is mild/cyclical.
Thanks in advance,
CD
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