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it's as if the pod people have taken him away and left someone new.
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They have!
In all seriousness, it just vary's from person to person. As an alcoholic once the realization that I wanted sobriety more than anything "stuck" I embraced it with everything I could. Yes, recovery became my priority, meetings, sponsor, step work all of it. I knew if I couldn't be sober then there was no point in continuing on giving false hope to my husband and kids that our family could heal.
I rode that pink cloud for many many months, and truth be told, I still do a couple years later. It's hard work in the early days of sobriety. It's simply got to be the priority if anything else in our life is to be "fixed".
With that said, yet again, one more time, uncertain anticipation still lingers in the family and spouses of us alcoholic types. Your mistrust, uncertainty, hurt, has more then likely never truly been validated. So when is it your turn? If you have the patience and endurance to survive the active alcoholism then I urge you if there is any inkling of energy left hang in there to survive the recovery. It's not fair being second fiddle I know. I hope you continue on in Alanon, find live support and friendships with other people going through what you are and have faith that there is a beautiful future ahead should he continue on his pink cloud. It's been my observation those that ride the pink cloud for awhile into recovery versus those that have yet to experiance it tend to fair well in long term sobriety.
Again, and I'm sure you've given all you can already, it's a matter of time. *hugs*