There is a lot of help to be found here....i'm a mental/physical health buffet myself...and it can get better. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? Sounds like a second anti-d might be a good idea for you. Also...have you tried counseling? A good therapist who you feel comfortable with came make a load of difference.
Check out
www.nami.org and learn up on some of the things you are experiencing. If you have any specific questions....give me a holar...i'm always glad to help b/c I've been where you are at and I know what it's like.
Hang in there.
Hugs,
Jenna