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Old 01-11-2006, 04:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000
Psalm 118:24
 
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
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Talking Martha And Maxine



Martha VS Maxine
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*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
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*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDI: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you! will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Celery? Never heard of it!
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.<S! style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial" PAN> </SPAN>
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
</TD><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top><! SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: navy">Leftover wine??????????? </SPAN>
HELLO !!!!!!!
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The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

D
o you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry
in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

As usual, if you don't forward this to 10 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will fall off. Really... it's true! Have I ever lied
to you? (JUST KIDDING... DON'T FORWARD TO ANYONE, UNLESS YOU THINK THEY COULD USE A LAUGH, TOO!)

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WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE
IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD


J - Jesus first
O - Others next
Y - Yourself last

John 14:6
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