[Live]

Thank you again.

It seems it IS a never ending process.

I get angry at being robbed of so much of my life by the grieving in addition to the actual losses.

I am tired of feeling weak and like I am making excuses for myself.

I think part of me did die and mostly I am just tired.

I went through it all again today, triggered by Dayna's miscarriage. Even worse than the actual suicide and grief is an overwhelming HORROR of seeing what was happening and crying, pleading, begging, screaming ....and being discounted....

Just as this week I called her dad to tell him to arrange babysitting she needed help. He didn't do it.

Sometimes I just want to grab people by the lapels and YELL in pain and fury "HOW MANY FUNERALS DO YOU HAVE TO GO TO?"

And, I thank all of you here. Because when I have told you I was in trouble you believed me. That means alot. It means a whole lot.

When I told you I was not safe because of A, not once did you tell me I was paranoid or minimize it in anyway.

Thank you.