[Nina Kay]

I don't know exactly what I came to this forum for except maybe to say a few things that I don't normally say to anyone. I know that I have a mental illness of some form. I've never been diagnosed as bipolar or manic depressive. But I have fought depression and isolation my entire life, for no particular reason that I can think of, for most of my life. Sure I've had life problems like everyone else, but not traumatic ones of any kind, until my son started getting deathly ill as an alcoholic/addict. I didn't even know that he had a problem until the horribly traumatic near death experiences started. So before that, everything was pretty great.
I have always been extremely happy, as a child and a young adult. But I've always had terrible mood swings that were pretty extreme. I never have been able to keep friends for long and the only reason that I can think of is because they never know what to expect from me. I'm always all or none. I know that my problems aren't as bad as some of you on this forum, so I may sound silly, but I just wanted to be with others who can talk freely about mental and emotional disorders, so I hope that you won't feel like I'm horning in where I'm not supposed to.