I'm learning more and more that alcoholism is a disease of perception. I don't have a problem with alcohol. If I did, I would be okay without drinking. But I'm not. I need the program, the steps, the fellowship, all of it. I drank because I wasn't okay with me - I hated myself! I drank, and the world was a better place to live in. For a little while, I had hope. I fight the program from time to time and wonder if I belong too, but that's the nature of the beast - as they say, alcoholism is the only disease that tells you that you don't have it. Everyone's story is different, and you don't need to compare your 'story' with others. Think about your feelings, think about why you drank, and how it felt afterwards. There is no need to 'prove' yourself to ANYBODY.
Anyway, that's just my two cents. Glad you found us
Rowan