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Carol - I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through right now. I know what is like to have to try and balance meds, but I haven't been at the point you are at now and can only imagine how hard it must be.
I have been treated for chronic depression, which is labeled as such because I don't tend to have major depressive episodes. Unfortunately this leads some to believe that it isn't as bad. And since I drank at home, no one but my husband knew how much is was effecting me. My most recent therapist would just say "well, don't think like that" or "just don't do that." I would want to scream at him and say, don't you think if it were that easy I would do it???? It also took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I would probably need to be on medication for quite a while. And just when I thought I had things under control, I started to drink, which obviously undermines all the work that I did.
So I do know how you must feel, and I hope I can be of support to you as well. Just having someone to talk to (albeit indirectly!) seems to be making a world of difference.
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