[shutterbug]

I don't have any answers, but I know how you are feeling b/c I've been crying for 3 days while on SR, some b/c of responses, some because of feelings of loss, some because of my depression and a lot because I'm too tired to fight anymore and i'm just feeling sorry for myself.

I think people here at SR have so much power to affect us in positive ways because we find understanding and support from each other....knowing that we too have been there or that I'm not alone and it's okay to think this way and feel that way or do this and do that.....that others struggle too.

But with such a great power to affect us positively....the opposite is possible too b/c we come to depend on people here on such a deep level.

This is our safe place....our place of healing and when we need support and instead get judgement or anger or whatever then it catches us off guard and cuts us more easily b/c many of us allow ourselves to be more vulnerable here than any other place in our lives.

The last thing I want to do is hurt someone here or upset them further, but even yesterday I did. I was talking about my life and my current feelings about the negative place I'm in and I made one person feel bad about their own life in the process and yet another person felt unappreciated. And still yet....someone trying to help me, with all good intentions, said the complete wrong things to me. I read a person's response and see more than just their words, I often see their motivations, opinions, views, judgements. I felt someone someone was judging me unfairly just for talking about how I feel about my life and what's going on. I'm a sensative person and I'm also a person who's learning to speak up for myself and to speak my mind so I explained what that person's response "said" to me in the state of mind I was in and how what they said had hurt my feelings, but after re-reading my response today....my reply came across like I was attacking that person in retaliation. They were very cordial and I dont' know the person very well, but what I said probably hurt. I have yet to decide which is more important in the grand scheme of things: learning to express my feelings or saving someone some discomfort in relaying how they made me feel. I look at it like this....maybe they might not be so quick to judge the next sensitive soul who's crying out for help....or maybe they might just choose different words to use....or perhaps they are a sensative soul themselves and I've just done the very thing I'm telling them they shouldn't do? I don't know.

I've spent my whole life people pleasing and never speaking up for myself so I'm allowing myself to make some mistakes while I try to find balance between the two.

Basically though....know that your feelings are valid and it's okay to feel that way.

How to thinken up our skin???? If you ever come across a lotion to soath emotion then I want to know the formula.