((((toforever))))
I read your post with heartfelt aching for you. To lose someone is a grievous loss whether in spirit or in life. I am so sorry for what you are going through.
At this point in time with your grief, nothing will seem acceptable. That is part of the process. That is a pain you must work through. Your post is exactly what you need to be doing right now...getting it out of your head. Let the thoughts fly out through your fingertips onto the keyboard and let it go.
I read your poems. They are good. Write, write what you are feeling, be it anger, remorse, sadness, passion--your intense feelings right now is what passion is made of.
Your deep love for your loss is apparent.
I am including a thread here for you to read over, it is excellent and anyone who has lost a love whether through death or life can benefit from it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ove-48141.html
Yes, if you are angry, express it! Bottled up emotions manifest in other behaviors--they have to escape and they do show up somewhere.
Express your anger in ways beneficial to you. Write what you feel. Go for a long walk or go smack a punching bag around. Give a primal scream (I have done this and it works) Give that emotional energy somewhere to go...get it out of you.
Keep writing. We are listening, caring.
My thoughts are with you. Keep the faith. You will be ok, you will.
Tony? How are you doing??
Peace to you both,
Wolfstarr