((((Welcome))) to SR Allen!
I had a little difficulty understanding some of what you wrote, but I think I got the jest of it. I'm glad you're sober now and you should be super proud of yourself b/c that's not an easy thing to do (as you well know).
Are you in any kind of 12-step program like AA or NA? Those are highly successful programs for keeping peeps sober for the rest of their lives and there are tons of them to be found all over the place and are filled with peeps who are going through the same things you are and who can literally be guardian angels. I never knew such truely caring people existed! They can help you in SO many ways that you could probably never imagine.
Here is a link to the AA forum here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1
And here's the link to the Narcotics Anonymos forum:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1
You might want to copy everything you wrote here and paste it into a thread into one or both of these forums since there will be tons of people who can relate to your story there.
And I would also like to suggest joining your local Nar-anon and/or Alanon since growing up with addicted parents affect us in so many ways that we normally aren't aware of.
Nar-anon forum here is:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1
Adult Children of Alcoholics is:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1
Friends and Family of Alcoholics (Alanon) is:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ics-anonymous/
Seeking help is a very good step....getting support is a giant step that can mean long term success.
hugs and God bless,
Jenna