 my releif
hello i am allan started as a alcholic around five my daddy owned a bar in a small missouri town and thought it was cute .Then he woke mom one night i was in the bed with them in the middle safe huh. not that night......dad awoke to wake my mother and nudged me to just in time for me to see him fall from the bed of a massive hart attack they say he never had a chance of course this was 1970 all i remeber is seeing him in the casket at the same church my sister married in . you know i never stoped drinking the little beers and i never stopped thinking of dad.a few years passed and i broke a plaque my mawmaw neel had giving my mom who never stopped greiving? and i guess i havent ethere and i just turned 40.but any way the plaque i broke i tried to fix i was probably 7 and wound up burning down the house my negighbors? pulled me out and put out the leather fringed jacket dad had gotten me his last x-mas with us i was wearing it time goes on a little gas huffing actually alot i should be dead my self.but i got told on and hospitalized for it my brother helped so i made it thru that phase my brother who was 13 time of dads death thought selling pot would help with the bills and my acting out so i had free acess at about 9 from then on my brother who is 8 years older than i became my role model he did not know the end results he has been down 5 times for sales he is 48 now and probably wont see50 dad was 47 my sister she is the only one who did right may god bless her and her family.....At 12 i came in the first time drunk my step uncle let me out at end of the road and i crawled thru the mud in to the house where mom beat the boy with no feelings i will skip a little .i got my licience at 16 that was a joke got drunk had them a total of three months had totaled 2 cars then mom had to hitch a ride to work because of me school wasent my bag so texas here i come learned how to weld so i always had a good job and a illness that is still here today i have been addicted to everything out there i have had several d.w.i.my doctors kept me out of prison and the medication seems to help if you ask me my drug of choice is cocaine overdosed twice meth if it was there i made a lot of money off that stage? I have sobriety now but i struggle everyday i have a family that supports me so everything in my life isent bad but i hope better is on the way please feel free to email me cause my life cannot be one of a kind but it feels that way i hope i have helped at least one person then it has helped me too god bless allan
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