SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Opiate Self-Detox

jeb jansen · 12-01-2005, 07:09 PM

Erin,

You answered my missive that I wrote while about to embark on a self home detox. Well it failed after 1 day and a half. And it has nothing to do with me craving to get high. I want to quit bad right now. It was the PHYSICAL pain which was shockingly bad after just that short of time. This is what I endured until 10 this morning when I literally had to cop for fear of AND I REALLY MEAN THIS having a possible cardiac arrest. If you saw Jamie Foxx kick heroin in the movie "Ray" it was worst than that. Sleeplessness yet barely enough energy to get out of bed. Horrible taste and smell. Sweats and cold chills. Ringing in the ears. tearing eyes. But the worst thing I endured was the dry heaves. I could not eat because the very thought of food made me want to wretch. However on 3 occasions I embarked on an alarming secession of dry heaves and sneezing which made me come about this close to stopping my heart. There is no way on this earth I could have endured more without a doctor or nurse in the vicinity. So I waited until my source began the business day bad bought 5 balls of black tar for $100. 20 bucks a ball. Within 20 minutes of using I felt wonderful. Heroin is an amazing drug. Do not misinterpret. Amazing in a demonic horrific way. The physical kick on a cold turkey or even augmented by all of the drugs I mentioned was unbearable. So now what do I do? Have kicked heroin using Methadone before. Let's see 3 times. All successful. In fact this last 7 months of sobriety from November 2004 till June 2005 before I relapsed (trigger was a girlfriend breakup) was done with a methadone 21 day detox during the first 2 weeks of November 2004. Relapsed in June 2005. However I remember quite well the kick was just a little better than today's disaster and I was not using as much dope. So trust me you will have withdrawals.
I would not recommend getting on a Methadone maintenance program for these reasons. Everybody is different so this may NOT apply to you but......
1) From my personal experience and many others I know the methadone habit is just as bad but you don't get high. At first you get a little high but soon after you don't. But you still have a habit and have to "score" every damn day. Day in and out. Miss a dose you will be okay. Miss two you will get dope sick. The only difference between methadone and heroin is that it isn't against the law and you can function in society a bit better. That is, if you don't mind sweating through your shirt on a 60 degree day. AND people notice. "Why are you sweating man it's 60 degrees".
2) The night sweats are terrible. You will literally turn your bed into a swimming pool. PLUS LITERALLY SWEATED ALL DAY LONG EVERYDAY.
3) Numbness in the extremities. Your arms particularly when you sleep feel like they are paralyzed.
4) Nightmares. You will have really weird nightmares.
5) Total loss of sexual appetite. In makes you impotent. You can't get it up after using methadone for a month or two.
6)Massive weight gain. If you are on maintenance figure on putting on 25 to 40 pounds because of water retention. I would say 85% of the people on methadone balloon up. It's very common.
7) Nausea. You are generally nauseous all day long. Just the thought of food makes you sick except for sweets which is why people really balloon up. I can look at pictures of celebrities who have battled opiate addiction and tell by how fat they are if they are on methadone or not. Courtney Love who just got a "you are doing really well" from a judge in her probation case has ballooned up like a Zeppelin. I can tell that she is on the done.
6) The drag of what to do on holidays or when you want to leave the state of missing a day because of whatever. Take-homes and all of that bs. A huge pain in the ass.
7) And finally: Methadone is not as bad as heroin because you don't have to worry about getting busted and if you are mainlining your arms clear up but that's about it. Other than that Methadone is a heroin addiction without the high and with much worth side effects. Methadone is horrible Erin. I would suggest you get off after 21 days and put up with a bad but not as unbearable detox. As for me? Now I don't know what the heck to do. Might try a 21 day Methadone detox. But that Methandone. Oh no not again. What I would love is to go to one of those 3 day rapid detox places. They literally put you unconscious for 3 days and when you wake up all of the dope is out of your system and the worst of the withdrawals are over. I would give my right arm to go do one of those places. However Money money! It cost a lot and I don't have it. My only other way out is to keep harassing the two places in Southern California who have what they call county beds. For $200 bucks they let you in for 10 days. I did that too, once and stayed sober for two years. Two problems there is a long waiting list and the way they work is bs. you have to call every day at 8:30 and you have no idea if or when you can get in. So you cannot make plans in regard to jobs ect. So what can I do man? thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it and have to so something fast.

12-01-2005, 07:09 PM	#9 (permalink)
jeb jansen Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: culver city, california Posts: 2	Thanks Erin: Erin, You answered my missive that I wrote while about to embark on a self home detox. Well it failed after 1 day and a half. And it has nothing to do with me craving to get high. I want to quit bad right now. It was the PHYSICAL pain which was shockingly bad after just that short of time. This is what I endured until 10 this morning when I literally had to cop for fear of AND I REALLY MEAN THIS having a possible cardiac arrest. If you saw Jamie Foxx kick heroin in the movie "Ray" it was worst than that. Sleeplessness yet barely enough energy to get out of bed. Horrible taste and smell. Sweats and cold chills. Ringing in the ears. tearing eyes. But the worst thing I endured was the dry heaves. I could not eat because the very thought of food made me want to wretch. However on 3 occasions I embarked on an alarming secession of dry heaves and sneezing which made me come about this close to stopping my heart. There is no way on this earth I could have endured more without a doctor or nurse in the vicinity. So I waited until my source began the business day bad bought 5 balls of black tar for $100. 20 bucks a ball. Within 20 minutes of using I felt wonderful. Heroin is an amazing drug. Do not misinterpret. Amazing in a demonic horrific way. The physical kick on a cold turkey or even augmented by all of the drugs I mentioned was unbearable. So now what do I do? Have kicked heroin using Methadone before. Let's see 3 times. All successful. In fact this last 7 months of sobriety from November 2004 till June 2005 before I relapsed (trigger was a girlfriend breakup) was done with a methadone 21 day detox during the first 2 weeks of November 2004. Relapsed in June 2005. However I remember quite well the kick was just a little better than today's disaster and I was not using as much dope. So trust me you will have withdrawals. I would not recommend getting on a Methadone maintenance program for these reasons. Everybody is different so this may NOT apply to you but...... 1) From my personal experience and many others I know the methadone habit is just as bad but you don't get high. At first you get a little high but soon after you don't. But you still have a habit and have to "score" every damn day. Day in and out. Miss a dose you will be okay. Miss two you will get dope sick. The only difference between methadone and heroin is that it isn't against the law and you can function in society a bit better. That is, if you don't mind sweating through your shirt on a 60 degree day. AND people notice. "Why are you sweating man it's 60 degrees". 2) The night sweats are terrible. You will literally turn your bed into a swimming pool. PLUS LITERALLY SWEATED ALL DAY LONG EVERYDAY. 3) Numbness in the extremities. Your arms particularly when you sleep feel like they are paralyzed. 4) Nightmares. You will have really weird nightmares. 5) Total loss of sexual appetite. In makes you impotent. You can't get it up after using methadone for a month or two. 6)Massive weight gain. If you are on maintenance figure on putting on 25 to 40 pounds because of water retention. I would say 85% of the people on methadone balloon up. It's very common. 7) Nausea. You are generally nauseous all day long. Just the thought of food makes you sick except for sweets which is why people really balloon up. I can look at pictures of celebrities who have battled opiate addiction and tell by how fat they are if they are on methadone or not. Courtney Love who just got a "you are doing really well" from a judge in her probation case has ballooned up like a Zeppelin. I can tell that she is on the done. 6) The drag of what to do on holidays or when you want to leave the state of missing a day because of whatever. Take-homes and all of that bs. A huge pain in the ass. 7) And finally: Methadone is not as bad as heroin because you don't have to worry about getting busted and if you are mainlining your arms clear up but that's about it. Other than that Methadone is a heroin addiction without the high and with much worth side effects. Methadone is horrible Erin. I would suggest you get off after 21 days and put up with a bad but not as unbearable detox. As for me? Now I don't know what the heck to do. Might try a 21 day Methadone detox. But that Methandone. Oh no not again. What I would love is to go to one of those 3 day rapid detox places. They literally put you unconscious for 3 days and when you wake up all of the dope is out of your system and the worst of the withdrawals are over. I would give my right arm to go do one of those places. However Money money! It cost a lot and I don't have it. My only other way out is to keep harassing the two places in Southern California who have what they call county beds. For $200 bucks they let you in for 10 days. I did that too, once and stayed sober for two years. Two problems there is a long waiting list and the way they work is bs. you have to call every day at 8:30 and you have no idea if or when you can get in. So you cannot make plans in regard to jobs ect. So what can I do man? thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it and have to so something fast.