[shutterbug]

Thanks wolf.....my therapist says that there may be a slim chance that i may be able to drive to another town to see a different psychiatrist which brings a whole new set of problems for me, but hey....if they can send me there then i'm gunna try my darndest to make it there. Although she said since i'm not on any kind of insurance or even Medicade that i might not be able to...so well see.

i'm super afraid to say anything to this woman. i'm afraid of conflict and this woman really is a witch. She's hateful to me when i'm sitting there being as sweet as apple pie...so who knows how she will act if i tell her what she says bothers me. And also there's just something about me....i'm not able to confront people without being ruthless about it (that's the only way i know to really describe it). It's like i must have some kind of confrontational twang in my voice or posture or something that puts people into fight mode.....all while i'm trying to hold my own fight mode back....make since? It's like throwing two fighting chickens into the ring....if they can reach each other then they are gunna fight......same thing when i open my mouth to confront people ---> If they can hear me and react then they are gunna come out fighting in retaliation. I try to remain calm and collected and to put things as gently as possible, but it never works.....so i might ask my therapist to do the talking for me or something....hey maybe that's an idea....thanks.