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Ways you may change when you quit and how others may resist you

The people in your life may need some time to figure out what is happening when you quit smoking, what your changes mean for them, and how they are going to deal with it. If there was tension in your relationships before you quit smoking, it may increase when you actually quit smoking. Others may feel criticized or left out. An important part of staying quit is to figure out how you will deal with other people who resist your attempts to stay quit.

Here are some of the things that you may do when you quit smoking that may be difficult for others to accept. Print it off. Your goal is to find ways to deal with these situations in a way that respects your need to change and takes into account other people's needs for things to stay the same.

1. You may no longer want to go to smoky places or hang out together and smoke over a card game, coffee, or TV. Your friends or family members may think you are changing, that you don't want to hang out with them anymore.
Fill in how you will deal with it

2. You may want to do new things such as exercise or eat differently to make sure you don't gain weight. They may not want to do the same thing.
Fill in how you will deal with it

3. You may start to ask to have your needs met ("please don't smoke in the house"). They may accuse you of being out of line or selfish.
Fill in how you will deal with it

4. You may ask for support in very specific ways ("please remind me of how well I'm doing"). They may not want to give support in the ways you ask.
Fill in how you will deal with it

5. You may ask others to have patience with you if you are irritable and snap at them. They may not see this as fair.
Fill in how you will deal with it

6. You may speak up for yourself and ask others not to nag or tease you about quitting. Nagging and teasing may be their way of coping and they may not know how else to act.
Fill in how you will deal with it

7. You may ask others to quit smoking around you, but they've always smoked around you. They may say you are asking too much.
Fill in how you will deal with it

8. You may ask them not to smoke in the house or car. They may think you are not being fair and are violating their rights.
Fill in how you will deal with it

9. You may ask them not to leave cigarettes and ashtrays lying around. They may see this as inconvenient and refuse to do so.
Fill in how you will deal with it

Given everything you have learned through these messages, jot down any other changes and tensions you are actually experiencing and then write in detail how you will deal with it.

© Health Canada