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When I was reading your post, reminded me of this...
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. It's one of the promises in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Working a good program, that's true. I was making the "most" money, got hurt on the job, job screwed me over, still healing almost 1 1/2 years later... and you know what, we're making it. My hubby, 2 young children and I (also 2 kittens and a hamster!). My hubby doesn't make a ton of money - I didn't make a ton of money. Right before the injury - ended up buying a house and updated both of our cars. Seems like a check came from somewhere when it came right down to it. My secret, pray and have faith - knowing that I was doing the best I could. Hard to do, but the more you practice the better you get at it.
I can't spend my time "worrying" about the what ifs... don't get me wrong; I've done that before (not all that long ago). My sponsor has bugged me about doing "mini" 4th steps; doing fear 4th steps. So, one day, I was feeling particularly overwhelmed - while waiting for my little one to be done at preschool, pulled into Walmart parking lot, grabbed the notebook I keep under my seat, and started writing. Ended up I had 2 pages full of fear. I never could have guessed. Just seeing it in black and white really helped me put a lot of those fears into context. Additionally, I made the choice to pray over them (doing a 6/7th steps) and then letting go of the fear. Worked well for me.
Just a few thoughts. Good luck.
Jen
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