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Wow, Maxim, you sound just like me. I think my brief but heavy use of narcotics was a symptom of my depression. Ive always suffered depression, but drug addiction is new to me. You may be escaping emotion for a short time, but you're paying a high price when your life starts caving in around you. Trouble is, you dont know how much damage you've done until you come off of the drugs. You CANT do it alone, or you would have already.
Addiction is like a bad love affair. You want it, you obsess over it, you know its bad for you but you want it anyway. If you can get away from it, the addiction will beg to come back - it will make promises (I'll do it once and stop, or it wont be so bad this time, I can control it), you will yearn for it. How can you have other relationships with people when you are so caught up in this one. No one is as important as your drug of choice. Thats why you have to have help. The hardest part of recovery is asking for help. Do it before your life is unfixable.
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