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((((((((((((((Ashes)))))))))))))))) I just finished reading this entire thread and had no idea what I would find near the end. Hang in there, hon'. IMHO--you are worthy of recovery, of being the person you want to be, simply because you are here (not SR, necessarily, but 'of the world'). It took a lot of courage for you to write what you did. I hope you can find a bit more courage and reach out to someone who can really help you RIGHT NOW. I am praying for you as well.
Lots of love and as much support as I can give--
__________________  "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.....do the thing you think you cannot do." ~Eleanor Roosevelt |