 Back to Basics
My attendance at meetings has really begun to dwindle, and the old fear has set in; that I don't belong, that people don't like me, etc.
I've been struggling for months. It seems that the only time I TRULY reach out to my sponsor is when I am in crisis, and usually after I have taken pills or some such. I've begun to isolate again, and I'm so scared. Even here, I don't want to say too much, because I'm so frightened of being judged.
Sometimes I feel that my emotional problems are too much for AA to handle. I'm in counselling and have a psychiatrist, but I'm discouraged by this gradual backward slide. I'm interested in CBT but haven't found anyone here who specializes in it. I'm so tired.
When I walk into a meeting, I get so scared! Paranoid, really. How important is it that I force myself to go?
Thanks for listening,
Love Rowan
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