[Don W]

Hi maxium, Welcome to SR. I can only speak from experence but, until I got my alcoholism under control the was littler that could be done. Using and taking medication, you might as well take M&M's. I have Ptsd and depression and everything worked off each other. So many of these mask each other's symptoms. When I'd stay sober onlt, I'd be uncomfortable with things going well and sabotage. When I'd drink and go to counseling, I'd lie and bury my true feelings. I feel that setting priorities was key for me. The top was dealing with my addiction/alcoholism. Medications and drugs/alcohol work against each other. I also reduced my caffiene consumpsion. Believe it or not, this made a big difference. Most depression medications can be rendered useless with to much caffiene. Sort of like a diet soda with chocolate cake. Next, and this is really hard, stop picturing yourself as a failure. The fact you are trying makes you not a failure. This isn't an all or nothing process. Set reasonable, achievable goals. Improvement and progress not perfection. It's not you that your friends resent, it's your illness. Have you considered a program? I was helped and sometimes a program can help lay the foundation and get you started. First off, you have another whole set of friends here. Take care and responsibility for your recovery. The new and wonderful person will attract real friends back and new ones.