 all comes crashing down
positive thoughts fill my mind for only a short while until the mood swing hits, falling apart when commitments are made and i feel i can't keep them, unreliable ruining all that is positive. and why can't i just change for the best, so do i have so many sleepless nights with restless turning with nothing but anger at myself for everything. why can't i just forgive the past and move on to what will make me feel better today. i know all the tools to make everyhting better but the thought of failure overrides my thought process and i immediately give into an unresponsible lifestyle full of dishonesty and drug abuse. maybe i need more help than i thought, maybe i havent learned or dont' realize how much pain i'am really in. with the numbness from the drugs its hard to find out who i am anymore, or why im here. my dreams of the future amazingly positive, i just can't get passed this entrapped world i feel my mind lives in.
|