Okay, so now I know what weighted blankets are.....but I still don't understand how they can help with Desperate's daughter?
(((((((Desperate)))))))))) Welcome to SR!!!!!!!!!!!
(sorry, i'm a little behind with my welcome shout)
I'm bipolar, by-the-way, and a night owl...and a mental health information junkie....so thanks for your thread because i've already learned something i'd never heard of.
Obviously since i'm not familiar with ODD....it don't know any experienced suggestions to give you. I think going and locking yourself in your room is an excellent idea! Do you have a stereo in there or head phones where you can just tune out her verbal abuse? What about taking away a reward or movie night for every time you have to retreat to your bedroom to get away from her yelling?
What about before her dad leaves.....he tells her that "x" will happen if she treats you bad while he's gone?
Is see seeing a therapist every week?
What about buying her as many books about ODD and bipolar as you can get your hands on and letting her read about her own illnesses on her own time....no pushing...just, "Hey... here's some information about your diagnosises if you want to read about them and about other people who have had the same things".....or just leave the books lying around in various places where she can pick one up any time and read about it.
Guess the reason why i say that is because with my 2 major depression episodes....I've gotten really irritable....and always take it out on the people who are closest to me emotionally (my mom and my sister). The first episode i had no clue what i was doing to them. My sister just told me that i had become a different person and she didn't understand why....(well, actually i was on phen-phen at the time and she thought it was to blame and started yelling at me to stop taking them). But this time around, i could put a name to what was going on with me and i started researching as much as i could about bipolar and depression....still am. But i learned about my rages and i was able to tell my mom, sister and even some friends, that it's not me it's my illness acting out when i become "that" person and for them not to take it personally. Even me knowing i do it....sometimes i still do it without realizing and several days or weeks later my mom will say something to me about it and tell me what i did and then i can appologize to her. And sometimes, because i'm learning to recognize my own illness.....I am able to completely stop myself before i say anything, or if i've just said something i can immediately appologize.
My mom's a real sensitive soul so i try my best to catch myself and stop before i go off on her because she worries about my depression so much that she won't even say that it bothered her....she'll just get off the phone with me and start crying.
Anyway....i'm just saying that....probably the more your daughter can understand her own illnesses, the better things will probably be because she will start taking an active interest in her behavior around others....i would think anyway. I, of course, could be WAY, totally off since i only know what i read a few minutes ago about ODD.
No matter what....i hope and pray that you find some real answers that will help both of you out.
Hugs,
Jenna
P.S. I think the best thing you can try to do is take care of yourself first. Make sure you take some time just for you and do stress-relieving things. I've got a great relaxation CD that i'd be happy to send you a copy of to listen to at bedtime if you want. It helps with stress....and so does simple deep breathing excersizes throughout the day.
Let me know if i can help in anyway!