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Phinneas · 10-04-2005, 08:31 AM

I give up! I really, really do. No, not recovery - I am proud to be at a year clean and sober (Oct. 17th!!). It’s this self love thing. Ya know? I give up… I give up sitting back and wringing my hands in despair waiting for a bolt of self love to come down from above and strike me. I am struggling and I have been for months... well, my whole life, actually. I realized recently that self love is an action. Wow! Imagine that!

As long as I can remember, I have felt "less than." I have felt unworthy all of my life. My disease, I think, just magnifies the self loathing inside of me.

So, back to self love being an action… No one can love me enough for me to magically start loving myself. No one is going to take care of me. So, in a way I feel like I woke up to this realization - that no one is going to take care of me and love me and heal me, but me. So, it’s time to get busy. It’s time to stop sitting in the problem and start living the solution.

So, does anyone want to walk this jouney to self love, self esteem and self confidence with me? I commit to posting here regularly about my journey - the thoughts and actions I will take each day to be kinder, more gentle and loving with myself. Your thoughts and comments about what you struggle with or what works for you would be very much appreciated. Fellow addicts and alcoholics and friends from the Anon side are welcome. Male or female, I suspect we all share this issue to one degree or another.

phinny

10-04-2005, 08:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
Phinneas Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy Posts: 2,614	A Journey to Self Love I give up! I really, really do. No, not recovery - I am proud to be at a year clean and sober (Oct. 17th!!). It’s this self love thing. Ya know? I give up… I give up sitting back and wringing my hands in despair waiting for a bolt of self love to come down from above and strike me. I am struggling and I have been for months... well, my whole life, actually. I realized recently that self love is an action. Wow! Imagine that! As long as I can remember, I have felt "less than." I have felt unworthy all of my life. My disease, I think, just magnifies the self loathing inside of me. So, back to self love being an action… No one can love me enough for me to magically start loving myself. No one is going to take care of me. So, in a way I feel like I woke up to this realization - that no one is going to take care of me and love me and heal me, but me. So, it’s time to get busy. It’s time to stop sitting in the problem and start living the solution. So, does anyone want to walk this jouney to self love, self esteem and self confidence with me? I commit to posting here regularly about my journey - the thoughts and actions I will take each day to be kinder, more gentle and loving with myself. Your thoughts and comments about what you struggle with or what works for you would be very much appreciated. Fellow addicts and alcoholics and friends from the Anon side are welcome. Male or female, I suspect we all share this issue to one degree or another. phinny __________________ If ten people tell you that you have a tail... you might want to turn around and look.