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shutterbug · 09-30-2005, 02:53 AM

broken hearted,

first off, before I forget, saw your avitar and have to ask if you have a maltese? Mines name is Angel and she was a rescued from a puppy mill when she was 6. When you adopt abused dogs, they have some silly quirks sometimes, but the love they give back to you for giving them a much better life is priceless. Angel just mainly sticks right by my side 24/7 and she is very skiddish and HATES thunderstorms...cus they is scarrrrry

Any who....sometimes I see a thread that gets my recovery motor up and running and your is one of those.

Unfortunately, the sexual premiscuity, shop lifting (or any risk taking), spending money like it was water and not paying bills go straight to the core of the disease. These are VERY common symptoms, but that doesn't mean that she might still could be using that knowledge to just do as she pleases because she always has an excuse to justify her behavior. Lack of motivation, enjoyment of things you once enjoyed, social withdraw, fatique, sleeping a lot more or a lot less...these are other symptoms....as is irritability towards the people who are closest to you.

Best thing you can do for your friend is exactly what you are doing now....learning as much about her illness as you can and using that knowledge to be more understanding and supportive toward her...but be careful not to tell them what they SHOULD do...instead offer suggestions, not advice (we HATE that, and we sometimes bite...lol).

Just be there for her as best you can.....DON'T desert her when she needs you the most, but also remember not to take anything she may do or say toward you too personally, because...like I said...we tend to bite on occasion and it really has nothing to do with you...it's just the disease at work most of the time.

As for docs giving out numbers....I know of several therapists who give out their personal home and/or cell phone numbers (mine gave me hers and she often just calls to see how I'm getting along occationally even though I'm unable to see her anymore in "sessions" because I no longer have insurance to cover the cost)...I had thought? that one of my p-docs did the same thing in case of emergencies....but I know that my last one DID have an off-hours number, but it was to an answering service that fielded the calls and if it was a true emergency then the answering service would contact the doc. So it definetly sounds a little fishy from what you've said here.

Although, let me just say this....bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and even ADHD, can APPEAR with many of the same symptoms and are often confused and mis-diagnosed. Believe it or not, people are also sometimes diagnosed as bipolar when they really are suffering from sleep apnea...It's true...I swear!

The manipulative nature you described sounds like borderline personality disorder might be a closer diagnosis...just a guess of course, cuase I'm no doc, but it's a possiblitiy that may be worth looking into.

Anyway, keep your head up....don't let her illness bring you down in trying to help her...you can only do so much and taking care of yourself is the most important thing to keep at the top of the list because you can't help her if your not healthy yourself...make sense? It's easy to get wrapped up in the drama of someone's life who you care about...Detaching with love from the situation (not your friend) is always a good way to look at things sometimes.

Hugs,
Jenna

p.s. ALSO....watch for any kind of substance abuse issues...since 85 percent of bipolars end up abusing alcohol or drug...and that, of course, ALWAYS makes life more difficult.

09-30-2005, 02:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
shutterbug A picture's worth a 1000 words Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder Posts: 2,947 Blog Entries: 5	broken hearted, first off, before I forget, saw your avitar and have to ask if you have a maltese? Mines name is Angel and she was a rescued from a puppy mill when she was 6. When you adopt abused dogs, they have some silly quirks sometimes, but the love they give back to you for giving them a much better life is priceless. Angel just mainly sticks right by my side 24/7 and she is very skiddish and HATES thunderstorms...cus they is scarrrrry Any who....sometimes I see a thread that gets my recovery motor up and running and your is one of those. Unfortunately, the sexual premiscuity, shop lifting (or any risk taking), spending money like it was water and not paying bills go straight to the core of the disease. These are VERY common symptoms, but that doesn't mean that she might still could be using that knowledge to just do as she pleases because she always has an excuse to justify her behavior. Lack of motivation, enjoyment of things you once enjoyed, social withdraw, fatique, sleeping a lot more or a lot less...these are other symptoms....as is irritability towards the people who are closest to you. Best thing you can do for your friend is exactly what you are doing now....learning as much about her illness as you can and using that knowledge to be more understanding and supportive toward her...but be careful not to tell them what they SHOULD do...instead offer suggestions, not advice (we HATE that, and we sometimes bite...lol). Just be there for her as best you can.....DON'T desert her when she needs you the most, but also remember not to take anything she may do or say toward you too personally, because...like I said...we tend to bite on occasion and it really has nothing to do with you...it's just the disease at work most of the time. As for docs giving out numbers....I know of several therapists who give out their personal home and/or cell phone numbers (mine gave me hers and she often just calls to see how I'm getting along occationally even though I'm unable to see her anymore in "sessions" because I no longer have insurance to cover the cost)...I had thought? that one of my p-docs did the same thing in case of emergencies....but I know that my last one DID have an off-hours number, but it was to an answering service that fielded the calls and if it was a true emergency then the answering service would contact the doc. So it definetly sounds a little fishy from what you've said here. Although, let me just say this....bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and even ADHD, can APPEAR with many of the same symptoms and are often confused and mis-diagnosed. Believe it or not, people are also sometimes diagnosed as bipolar when they really are suffering from sleep apnea...It's true...I swear! The manipulative nature you described sounds like borderline personality disorder might be a closer diagnosis...just a guess of course, cuase I'm no doc, but it's a possiblitiy that may be worth looking into. Anyway, keep your head up....don't let her illness bring you down in trying to help her...you can only do so much and taking care of yourself is the most important thing to keep at the top of the list because you can't help her if your not healthy yourself...make sense? It's easy to get wrapped up in the drama of someone's life who you care about...Detaching with love from the situation (not your friend) is always a good way to look at things sometimes. Hugs, Jenna p.s. ALSO....watch for any kind of substance abuse issues...since 85 percent of bipolars end up abusing alcohol or drug...and that, of course, ALWAYS makes life more difficult. __________________ I'M FINE!! Fanatically Insecure Neuratic & Emotional Bipolar/Depression support: 1-800-950-NAMI(6264).