[shortcake77518]

Ive been thru alot of stress/anxiety, in the past few months. First had a hysterectomy (well the final part, last surg. Dr. couldnt find my left overy! grr) So last month I had to have my left overy taken out. (Dr. did not put me on hormone therapy, wich is good, because ive heard bad side effects from them.) And been thru problems with my bf, his fear of my lack of hormones, might cause problems with our sex life, and him not being too sensitive to my feelings as i recover. (although recently he's been alittle nicer) Dr. perscribed zoloft for anxiety, right before my surgery, but i never took it, because ive heard once you quite taking it, could have bad side effects, like worsening depresion. And now the last few days have been hell, had to evacuate because of hurricain Rita, in wich my bf's car broke down twice, (he had his 10yr. son and his pet ginea pig with him, and all his stuff) And my car ended up breaking down, and god its hard to get a battery during an evacuation of a hurricain! anyways bf and i ended up arguing, over his being stubborn, and his uncle started being a total ******* to me and my kids, we were supposed to spend the night at there place, but I decided id had enough, didnt need to take all that verbal abuse. So i ended leaving my bf there and taking my kids and I to the only other place i could go, my ex's brother and his wife's house, to get some sleep, and a peacefull place to rest. and later on kids and I ended up going to the place my bf was going to (away from his uncle) at the last minute. And there I felt totaly uncomfortable, esp. after my bf's grandmother came made the comment, that I need to behave myself! grrrr!!!!!! But her own son, my bf's uncle, can just talk to people like there nothing, and get away with it! He's one of these people who know it all, or think they do, and told me to quite crying, (Id been thru alot and just felt like it was all too much, sitting in bumper to bumper traffic in texas heat, for about 6 hours to get a few miles. And dealing with stubborn bf, who didnt want to leave his car, after it broke down twice. Anyways after his grandmother said that, I told her that i dont start anything, but that i will defend myself, and my kids when others are being disrespectfull, and mean towards me or my kids. And yes, when bf's uncle said those nasty, mean things to me and my kids, I stood up for myself, and my kids, and yes our voices got alittle louder, but i dont believe in letting others push me around. My own family doesnt talk to me like he does.
Basicly i dont take any sh**t, from anyone. I am a very nice and caring person, but I dont beleive in letting anyone talk to me any old way, or belittleing, or demeaning way.
And my daughter is the same way, she also said somethings, to my bf's uncle.
And now my bf's family seems to act like I am some kind of problem person, whos ready to go off on anyone at a drop of a hat, kind of like im a mental case! grrrrr!!!! I know ive been thru alot but thats not right. The lady whos place i was staying at while away from the storm, whom i was invited too, asked me if i was ok? and I said yes, why? and she said no reason. But it was like how she asked me, and later on she offered me some hormonal balancing cream, to help balance my self out i guess.
It just bothers me that people judge me based on something that happened, that i had to defend myself. Im a very caring and loving person. And anyways.....just way too much stress, sometimes wish i could just leave, take off to and just drive till i cant drive anymore.
I dont feel depressed, really, but I do get very upset or anxious, during emergency situations sometimes, and when others try to tell me how to feel, or that i just need to get over it, god that pisses me off! U know? like brushing me off, or trying to put me down for how im dealing with something, esp. if im crying, or upset. Most time im happy go lucky, but i also get very upset over things sometimes. so is all this normal??? am I crazy???
Should i take the zoloft? or should i take hormones? (right now im using natural, hormonal cream) Just wish people wouldnt judge me, or try to tell me how i should be reacting, or feeling, or hear one side of an argument, and automaticly think im the one who's a short fuse, just because i stick up for myself and my kids verbaly. And think im "off balance" because of lack of hormones because of my surgery. When ive always told people off, who offend me or my family, not in a bad way but normal. And anyways the whole time I stayed at my bf's moms freinds house, after the argument with his uncle, at his grandmas house (outside) She offered me some hormone cream, and kept off and on reminding me to put some more on, and her freind came over, and was very nosy, adn said she knows everything about me. ugg! my bfs mom told her god knows what about me, and i confide in my bfs mother, or did that is.
anyways just felt very uncomfortable around all of them, and they seemed to kind of avoid me, and I felt like they were thinking I was emotionaly unstable or crazy, just because of the agrument that occured with bf's uncle, whos an ******* (pardon the expression, but its true.)
Sorry for this long of a post, but just had to explain the whole situation.
I just need some serenity in my life, peacefullness, and trying to get my crazy life, to calm down, esp. after all ive been thru, these past 2 months.

If anyone has any advise, or support please let me know.
Thanks