Ok, so I made it one week today!!! I'm so happy about this. A month ago I couldn't even imagine a week without MJ.
I saw my therapist yesterday and it was really good. I'm making an appt. with a psychiatrist on Monday to see if I can be approved for another week off work. I am feeling better, but I feel I need another week to fully recover before going back to a demanding job. I am well respected at work and was encouraged to take the time I need and not worry about work, so that is reassuring, although I do feel bad about taking off during a busy time.
It's been a slow process and I'm still feeling depleted but I am making a lot of progress. Each day really is getting better. I finally slept for 10 hours last night. I started eating normally yesterday, with a little nausea, but my appetite was back. I actually made myself breakfast this morning.
Two days ago I started putting chamomile drops in my water, which really helped to calm the anxiety. When the anxiety calmed, it gave way to feeling really depressed and numb, but that only lasted a few hours. I've been surrounding myself with loved ones and not isolating which I had a tendency to do when stoned all the time. It's really unhealthy. I also started taking melatonin the past two nights, so I could sleep. I was so desperate to sleep and eat. I don't ever want to be dependent on something again that makes me feel this way when I don't have it.
And HOPE...I've been feeling this a lot the past two days. I am really looking forward to not being stoned all the time, exercising, being social again, being clear minded again. I feel like i'm waking up, which I have mixed feelings about. I'm sad that I spent so much time "out of it" but I'm also just glad to be getting back to clarity.