Poppy,
Yeah ... anger can be tricky...
It is never a good idea for me to lock it in a closet (unless very temporarily), yet I can't really let it go off in a destructive or aimed way either.
Remember the old saying ... drinking at people is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. Oh ... listen to John Prine's "Bruised Oranges", it is awesome on this topic!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFD2wZaBciY
You might want to take a look at something I keep finding helpful from the AA type inventory (lots about it I don't agree with or like)...
Underneath my anger is ALWAYS fear. The fear may be reasonable or unreasonable, a small one or a large one, easy to find or hard to find, but it is always there for me.
Then I go all Buddhist on it
fear comes from my desire to be "safe" or for my or others I care about worlds, views or other stuff be safe. And for me, safety is not a part of what this world we live in is about. Of course I seek basic safety, but to expect it or want it always ... well I will always be disappointed.
I am trying to learn to live with uncertainty, change, and my inability to control the whole ball of wax.
So I don't jump in front of cars, but I don't waste my time looking out for a car that might crash into me ... and recognize that ultimately I don't have any real control over whether or not I get run over by a maverick car.
Just my thoughts ... use what helps and pitch the rest cause I am as often wrong as right!
