I'll write a response here, mostly just so you know you are not alone. I'm fighting some of the same things myself. Depression sucks! I am on medication, it certainly has helped some, but much of mine is from negative thoughts, I won't go into details, but it certainly helps me to focus more on things I have done right and counting my blessings. Not a cure, but it does help. Sometimes trying to be happy with what you have instead of what you don't is a good thing to keep in mind. Which is a big area I constantly have trouble with. Finding someone to talk to that actually understands what you are feeling and going through is very important. Opening up to the right person has it's challenges because when you get down so far down, it can feel as though no one understands your pain. For me, the smallest things weigh me down the most. It starts with big things, I can keep trucking through, then the smallest things get me beat down hard. Most ppl see the big things, but fail to understand how the small stuff can hurt even more. I myself have made a couple new friends, and they have been an absolute godsend to me. Best of luck to you.