Hi everyone,
Poppy, I totally get how you feel about your mum. I wonder whether I am just over sensitive about other people's drinking? Like an ex smoker that pretends to choke every time someone lights up. Interestingly I gave up smoking 8 years ago and other people smoking has never bothered me. But alcohol is a much more complex addiction for me so maybe I'm just programmed for red alert whenever I think someone is drinking too much? I don't know. Like you guys say, I'll be there in a non judgmental way for my sister. There may be nothing to worry about.
Ananda, what you wrote about time blew my mind!! So it's like everything has already happened and we're now processing it in minutes, hours, days etc? Wow! That makes grief much more manageable for me and explains why I still have such a strong sense that my dad is still around.
I hope you called the doctor Nands. Hopefully the operation is going to make everything better for you.
I get that you feel your pain defines you Nands. Anything that has been around for a long time naturally becomes part of who we are. I met a woman at the eye hospital who'd been partially sighted all her life. Then she had an operation and got all her sight back. She should be happy right? Wrong. She said she was having terrible trouble adjusting to the new way of life. Being partially blind was part of her identity. She didn't know who she was now she could see. She was having therapy and I've no doubt she will get to a place where she embraces and loves her new way of being but it will take time. We're humans, not robots. We don't just reboot. We hold on to memories and past experiences and we need to work through them so we can grow. I don't think your pain has to define you forever Nands.
Steely, let us know how you're doing when you're able. I think about you often throughout every day.
Kev, how you doing? You must be almost at 9 months now right? I know you are about 2 weeks ahead of me.
I'm doing good. Very busy because my kids break up for the summer holidays tomorrow (friday) so I'm trying to get loads of work done ..... whilst I can!! Really looking forward to having 6 weeks with the munchkins..... no homework, no school runs..... and apparently the UK is about to have a 2 month heat wave!! Perfect. Love to everyone xxxx