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Hello,
I had been in and out of rehabs sinse 87. I just never got it, 30 days was about all I could get and only when I was in a rehab and couldn't get anything. Even then I was taking traquilizers. Last Sept. I just realized that I couldn't keep living the pointless existance and stopped using. I went to mass, prayed, just didn't pick up. I found Sober recovery site and took the suggestions to start making AA meetings again. I got a little over 90 days and went back out. I knew I had a problem with depression for years and took meds in the past. I didn't like taking the meds and just didn't want to take any medication. This time I got 61 days again and I am doing things a lot differently. I'm seeing a therapist, and a psychiatrist. I'm taking meds and they are working. Going to a lot of meetings and following the suggestions. Got a sponsor and working the steps. The Dr. says I am hypo manic and suffer from depression. He says I'm bi polar. I know something is not right though. He wants to get me on mood stabilizers soon.
I didn't want to accept that I had mental illness but today I do. If I need to take medication to help me I just have to do it. I'm really trying to get better and the Dr. says taking the meds will make it better for me. I may not have to take meds forever but for now they are really helping. I have been struggling at times and staying sober is the toughest thing I have ever done. I have the dual diagnosis and have to work on both these issues, my mental illness and my addiction/alcoholism.
H
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