Originally Posted by
Impurrfect 
Deelilah - There are really a lot more recovering crackheads here than you would think
I don't have the microwave like Tess does, but I have driven past numerous places where I think "oh yeah, smoked crack there" or "dope boy met me at that gas station" kind of stuff.
This is a link to someone we crack addicts adore. It's a very long thread, may have extensions, but Larry is awesome. Several of us wanted to shake some sense into him for a while, and now we are so very proud of him.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-lifetime.html
I'm just sharing this so you know that some of us crackheads really do recover.
Sorry about the a/c but stuff happens. As someone who is also a recovering codie, I know all about "was than oops or something more?" It's usually an oops, we're just used to walking on eggshells and questioning ourselves.
I think you're doing great and am glad you're here.
Oh cool! Thanks for that link! You and Anvilhead give me hope. Memories of my AH when I met him give me hope too, weirdly enough. I met him much more into recovery than he wound up being. He knew every day of the past 8 years where he could score crack and chose not to do it. He pointed out the gas stations that he avoided where he used to meet dealers. He showed me the deserted roads where he used to park and smoke. I guess he was surrounded by triggers and did it anyway. I know it's possible to turn one's life around. I know it can and does happen. I know that he knows how to do it. I want that so much for him that I'm kind of afraid to hope. I've tried to cope with the potential disappointment and pain by telling myself that no matter what the outcome, our previous relationship is over and I have to grieve it. Anything that comes next will be new, whether it's divorce or both of us working a recovery program and figuring out how to reconnect. I think that's true, really. We've both changed as a result of his relapse and it didn't take much time for that to happen. And really, I love him enough as a person that I just want him to recover even if I have to face the pain of losing him. He deserves better than the life he was heading towards. I will survive either way. He may not.
Well, I say he was in recovery, and he kind of was. I don't think he dealt with his underlying issues the first time around. He drank and smoked pot, so he was still behaving as an active addict. Just not with something that was guaranteed to wreck his life. He said he was completely sober the first year and picked up drinking and weed again because he was too ADHD and annoying without them. Instead of seeing a doctor for that treatable problem, he dove back into addictions. Crack showing back up was likely inevitable. Took a while, though.
I am soooo glad that I'm here. You are all saving me from a lot of insanity.