I know how hard it is to process all this stuff. You ARE getting quite a bit that he wasn't willing to compromise on, so as upsetting as it is to have to wait some more to see your money, you will see a lot more than he was willing to share. I don't think anyone ever feels the division of property is "fair." Nothing about alcoholism or having to go through all this is fair.
This is a super lame analogy, but I'm living in a house that I bought in 2006. Only three years after I bought it, I discovered huge cracks in the foundation that weren't there when I bought it. I believed they happened due to the failure of my homeowners' association to maintain a collapsing retaining wall behind my house. I hired a lawyer and engineers, and after YEARS and tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees and other expenses, I wound up with a tiny settlement that covers only a fraction of the legal fees I paid out. And I'm stuck, still, with a house worth roughly 1/3 of the price that I paid (and am still paying--house is still worth about half of the unpaid balance of my mortgage). And I can't sell it the way it is, obviously. So I've spent the last couple of years saving up almost enough money to have the repairs done (I'll still have to take out a sizable loan). I just made arrangements to have the plans for the repair drawn up and put out for bid.
None of this was FAIR. I'd had an inspection before I bought it, and everything was great. None of the damage is covered by insurance, because it's considered "earth movement." Despite the best efforts of a good lawyer we didn't have sufficient evidence to prove the retaining wall was the cause of the damage--it appears the house was built on bad soil, and too much time has gone by to sue the builders. So it's like an act of God. One not covered by insurance. I just have to eat it. Not fair at all. But the point is, when something unfair like that happens, there are two choices. One is to focus on the unfairness, and the other is to give the unfairness a rueful shake of the head and figure out a way to deal.
You're sounding much, much better. You WILL find a way to deal. Have you thought about whether there's any kind of work you can do to supplement your income? I know you have health problems, but is there something maybe you could do that has flexible hours so you can work when you feel up to it?