Tnek97, I don't mind you asking at all! I've been thinking a lot about it myself since my relapse. I loved many things about my sober life but I was also very restless, anxious, bored... In hindsight I think I didn't do enough other positive changes in my life, I just quit drinking. Also my identity was very much tied into being "the life of the party", so I just felt completely lost, didn't know who I was after so many years of partying. But of course nothing improved by drinking again, I was more miserable and now also very drunk. This time I'm determined to really work on my recovery, it's not enough to just quit drinking as you all know... Thanks again for asking!