[shutterbug]

Yeppers...I think the fear of dying and/or death stems mostly from anxiety, but the thoughts of your mom popping into you head at those moments may either be triggering the anxiety or adding to it...not sure...I would talk to a doctor about it.

I tend to always fear the worst too. Tonight, my left lung is causing me pain every time I breath in. I've had this happen before with an upper respiratory infection, but never just one lung. Usually both start hurting because of muscle soreness from coughing so much. So just having one hurting is really scary to me. Stupidly, I'm one of those brainless idiots with asthma who smokes. (Just can't stop). I had a lung functioning test done about six months ago (while I was still fighting a terrible respirtory infection at that time) and my doc said the results show that I have early stage emphazima.

He said my lungs are so messed up that they are like a 70 or 80-year-old's. (And I'm not even 30 yet). My doc was very shocked and serious about it all. If you don't know what emphazima is...well, when you see old people walking around with an oxygen tank and air tubes running into their noses....that's what happens when you have it. You have to live out the rest of your days on oxygen at all times.

And soon after my diagnosis...I had an alergy induced asthma attack that sent me to the emergency room, scared for my life, barely getting there in time because I was already blue.

But here I am...still unable to stop smoking. You'd think that would be enough for me to stop smoking....but nope.

So....don't really know why I wrote all that...It was just on my mind. But I too always feel like I should have my brain scanned and lots of tests run cause all my life, I've felt like it's just a matter of time before they find the tumor or cancer or whatever that's going to be the end of me.

As for your situation...I would just concentrate on talking to a doc about the depression and the anxiety.

God Bless,
Jenna