Thank you for all of your responses.
I have been to meetings of all kinds. When I posted about meetings I meant any recovery meeting and I have done nearly every recovery meeting available except for Women for Sobriety and Refuge Recovery even though I know they are available in my town.
I have been to Smart online and in person, Lifering online, AA, OA, UA, SAA, DA, SLAA, FA, FAA, Greysheet, Alanon, ACOA, Yoga of 12 step recovery, a 12 step based Buddhist group and SLAA and Alanon weekend retreats.
I guess answering my own question I have heard recovery is supposed to be a bridge back to life. I noticed after a while hanging out on the bridge felt less like recovery and more like stalling but it was so interesting........
I will end this post by saying I am still so intrigued by the choices people take to take care of themselves and I am grateful for everyone who I have met on my self care journey.