I go back to my first posts here last year. I was feeling rather self pitying at the time. Now with growing awareness I can see the world anew- especially through the eyes of my family- to me. Regardless of who I am now or what I do now- they have the image of me --then.
I respect their silence. It saddens me with more emotional maturity now with awareness to feel empathy for them It reminds me very much of my dad. BUT being the first male in 80 years on my paternal side to openly face, declare and walk the walk with sobriety- I feel even more determined to remain a good person through growth. Perhaps one day my family will want to see me- but it will be a very different dynamic. I must use what I have learnt. Perhaps I am finally growing from the emotional child I was to the man I should be now.