Andygirl..be nice.
Lucky, you just made a huge change in your life, your disease right now is feeding off that change. you are lonely and that is what your disease wants you to be. i have been blessed to be sober 10 years (still amazes me) and my disease tries to tell me all the time that I don't fit in places, here at SR, in meetings, with friends, in my marriage....everywhere. Because my disease feeds off of misery not happiness, not contentment.
You have something to offer, everyone coming here has something to offer. Just saying hello to a newcomer is offering something. I don't think you realize you sharing your pain is offering something. Many MANY people come to SR,never register, just read...they are reading everything we write, they are using it in their life. I am sure someone reading about the changes you made in your life was able to make needed changes in their life.
Don't listen to your head that is your disease. You know the saying "our mind is a neighborhood that we should never go into alone".
It is your choice to leave or not, but I think it is a mistake. There have been alot of negative stuff going on around here lately I am not sure why but we cannot play into that. We have to remember that there are negative people everywhere.
One thing about me that might make you smile. My head was telling me for weeks how horrible I was going to look in the dress I had to wear on Sunday when I was a bridesmaid in a wedding. Seriously, I looked ridiculous. But I did not listen to it, I did not let it ruin my day...I hit the dance floor and danced for hours not caring what people thougth of the way I looked or even how I danced. If my husband was busy talking to someone, heck I just joined whoever I wanted on the dance floor cause I wanted to dance
. What I am trying to say is as addicts we are always so concerned what people are thinking/saying about us, that is our ego. When I first got into recovery I thought I was a people pleaser...then I learned I was self centered, the people pleasing was not about the other person it was about me feeling good about myself.
I think I have totally gotten off track here trying to explain to you that your disease is acting out now...I tend to babble alot
I hope you dont' leave cause I need you, lots of people need you hear sharing your experience, strenght, and hope....through the good times and bad. But even more I hope to you don't leave SR becasue that puts you one step closer to letting your disease win...and that breaks my heard.