[Kellye C]

Hi, I just found this board so I don't know the whole background on this but when I read this I wanted to share a similar experience I had 19 years ago and how it turned out.

I was dating someone that I loved. He met someone else, named Donna, and started telling me about her all the time. Needless to say I developed a huge resentment against her. He was also telling her all about me and needless to say she wasn't thrilled to hear about me either.

To make a very long story short, she won (although now I wonder who really won!) and I was relegated to "just a friend" with this guy and D. was the "love of his life". I didn't take it well and absolutely hated D. In my mind she was the cause of all of this.

I continued to be friends with this guy and he began a campaign to get D and I together which neither of us had absolutely no interest in. If I was over visiting him and she called he would hand me the phone. And if she was there and I called he would do the same thing.

I met someone else and we all frequented the same club. We ended up being thrown together out in public. D and I would "make nice" with each other but still there were the weird feelings.

This continued and I ended up pregnant by the person I was dating. D's relationship progressed and they ended up getting married. I was invited to the wedding and believe it or not I went! It was the most heartbreaking this ever to sit in a church and watch her marry someone I still loved.

Fast forward a few months. After they got married, I basically accepted that I couldn't have him but that I still wanted him in my life so we continued to socialize. I had my baby and their house was the first place we "visited" and D was the first person to hold my son outside of family. A year later we had become really close. Seeing their marriage close up, I saw things about this "wonderful" man I would have never guessed and was privy to what living with him was actually like.

They ended up divorced and D and I became best friends. 19 years later we are still best friends! To add another twist to this, we are both now friendly with him and his current wife T. It makes for quite a story when we are out and about. We have him, the ex-girlfriend, the ex-wife and the current wife LOL!

I know now that he was sick. He always wanted something that he couldn't have. Once they began having problems he renewed his interest in me and I was forced to make a choice. I chose my relationship with D. Then he found the current wife and has continued to flirt with both D and myself at times when he finds the chips are down with T. He has a problem.

As I said, I know nothing of your story and I am giving no advice whatsoever, I just wanted you to know how this situation that sounds similar to mine turned out. I did not want D crammed down my throat any more than she wanted me crammed down hers but thank God he did because I ended up with the sister I never had.

I realize this is a bizarre way for things to turn out so I would have to say that if you are in pain, then stay away and don't put yourself in a position to be hurt further. Listen to your gut, it is seldom wrong, at least in my experience. Take care of yourself and do whatever you have to do for YOU. If that means severing ties, then so be it. Good luck to you!

Take care,
K.