Recovery for me doesn't mean what I thought it meant, or what I was afraid it meant. If you're stuck right now and feel nothing else is working I wholeheartedly recommend throwing yourself in.
I have been to thousands of meetings of AA and in early days particularly got very involved in reading, understanding and applying the big book...despite hating the language. Today, I ain't no robot and I feel more of a complete and rounded individual than I ever did.
I suppose you can either continue with reservations or trust the folks saying they followed this path and found it useful. Life changing even. I learnt things from working the steps that I couldn't learn from a book...wish that for you too, if you decide that's what you want
P