| Sticky Fingers
I really don't know what its going to do to convince me that I am an addict to marijuana, I guess in my heart of hearts I know.
I went to an NA meetings and couldn't get myself in the door, and decided I would "give up" on recovery and myself. It just wasn't working, I would go to 3 meetings a day and still smoke weed when it was all over. So, in my given up state, I took a less than legal (i'm on probation) trip to see some of my old friends. None of whom were at all excited to see me. I went out drinking like old times, and sat in the corner by myself all kind of shadey, but this ended up being the last of my concerns.
By the end of the weekend I was left alone in my friends room, and after a huge contemplation I stole his weed. Now whats amazing about this is there was a stack of apprx. 300-500 dollars right next to a gram of bud. I took 20 for gas and the bag, left all the money; i'm not a theif by nature. Its just I can't find weed anymore.
I felt really bad, and apologized, but he didn't want to hear about it- threatened me and that was the end of it...
I really need help, and I don't know what to do. It seems like all the advice in the world won't sink in. People have told me to try researching county funded rehabs but I don't want a down in the dumps rehab... I don't want rehab at all. I just want to be like everyone else in the world who just stops wanting weed. It hasn't happened yet... and since I've been going to meetings its only gotten worse. Thanks
-meyekell
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