[shestruggles]

Oh, dear sweet Becky...

I was headed down here to start my own similar thread.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know you well enough to be sure that you won't use to deal with it...even if you want to. Escapism...I know the feeling of utter despair, just wanting to disappear & make all these bills stop!

If it comes down to it - curl up in the bed and pull the covers over your head for a while. Scream and cry and get it all out. You can't change the bills. You can't change the idiots that turned out down. At least not this moment. I know it seems weird to suggest that you let yourself just fall down for a while - but anything is better than using.

I've been trying all day to 'fix' some problems that I just can't handle. I'm so frustated and upset and hopeless, I almost wanted to score. Instead I just let myself fall apart for a bit. I'm depressed, I'm miserable and I just have to ride it out...

I'm tired of working so danm hard to get my life in order, only to face dissapointment at every turn. I can feel your frustration. I say - let it pass.

When your energy returns (and it will!) start chipping away at the problem. The medical bills can wait. They have to - you have no choice. You don't have the money. Once you're ready to give it another shot, follow some of the advice others have shared, such as contacing a social worker. I know when you're overwhelmed and depressed, it seems like no ideas will help...but they might when you have the resolve to try again. That's all you can do, sweetheart.

Me, I'm going for a good cry and lie in bed. I'm sick of feeling guilty for being depressed. I have to let it pass. I can't do anymore right now...

I hope this helps in some lame way. I'm not suggesting you give up - just give up for a few hours, or whatever it takes for youto get your strength back. You're exhausted, depressed and overwhelmed, dear...Please be good to yourself & know it will get better - is HAS TO!!! (i HOPE)

i LOVE YOUR GUTS, SWEET BECKY!!!