21 days today
I have honestly not been counting. I have this app on my phone and logged in after not being on in a while. It popped up 21 days today. It also tells you how much money you saved. I put in a conservative amount that I was spending, not including bars and dinners out. I have saved over $300 at least. I would estimate more like $400 though. I figure at that rate, I have spent at least 40K in the last 5 years trying to kill myself. Blech.
I have been focusing on my both my physical and mental health as well as my marriage. Exercise is my friend.
Overall, my sobriety is going well. The cravings are a lot less, but I also do not go out much these days. My AV is eerily quiet. Once I started referring to alcohol in my mind as Black Death, the voice quieted down a bit. "Oh yes, I would love a glass of Black Death please." I had a really bad day the other day and cried a lot, but I did not drink.
I have started to refer to myself as a non drinker to friends. I even came clean to my friend with stage 4 cancer who had no idea I had a problem. Who wants to burden someone who has terminal cancer with this nonsense? I do not have family support, so my friends and my husband are everything to me.
So anyway, I am off to the gym to punish myself.