SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

Scared2Bme · 08-27-2005, 10:18 PM

Ever since I quit the pot(1month now) my dreams have been to clear, vivid, and realistic. Its not a reacurring dream, different scenario every night.

I grew up in an abusive family, my father was violent constantly, many broken windows, walls, trashed the house frequently. He beat us often, nothing to severe but it tooks its toll. My mom took most of the abuse but I had my fair share. I have been in a few fist fights with him between the age of 10-15. I started to be like him when I was 15, breaking windows, walls, ect. I have dealt with my violent tendencies and I cope quite well. I have slipped up a few times in the past years but I have improved a great deal.

Anyways my nightmares always involve my father or my insane sister. Its like the running from zombies dream but its always them coming after me with abuse and screaming. I try to kill them in my dreams every night and this scares me. Violent ways to, baseball bats, hammers, crazy stuff. I wake up angry, shaking, and crying almost everynight and I am afraid to go back to sleep because they are always there. I just can't seem to get them out of my head.

I ex-communicated my sister when I was 17. I have maybe talked to her three-four times in the last 7 years. I had to be cordial but I always make the talks short and simple. I avoid my mother and father to an extreme. I only talk to them a few times a year, mainly birthdays and major holidays. I wish I could cut them out of my life for good but, I'd feel guilty. They are a mess and I hate to see them because they are crank addicts and their lives are disgusting.

How do I stop these nightmares? I feel like I need a psychologist but I can't afford therapy. I can't talk to them about it because they are a lost cause. I really need help though, its affecting my sanity greatly. What should I do? Can anyone relate?

08-27-2005, 10:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
Scared2Bme Free from Weed! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: cali Posts: 44	Nightmares!!! Ever since I quit the pot(1month now) my dreams have been to clear, vivid, and realistic. Its not a reacurring dream, different scenario every night. I grew up in an abusive family, my father was violent constantly, many broken windows, walls, trashed the house frequently. He beat us often, nothing to severe but it tooks its toll. My mom took most of the abuse but I had my fair share. I have been in a few fist fights with him between the age of 10-15. I started to be like him when I was 15, breaking windows, walls, ect. I have dealt with my violent tendencies and I cope quite well. I have slipped up a few times in the past years but I have improved a great deal. Anyways my nightmares always involve my father or my insane sister. Its like the running from zombies dream but its always them coming after me with abuse and screaming. I try to kill them in my dreams every night and this scares me. Violent ways to, baseball bats, hammers, crazy stuff. I wake up angry, shaking, and crying almost everynight and I am afraid to go back to sleep because they are always there. I just can't seem to get them out of my head. I ex-communicated my sister when I was 17. I have maybe talked to her three-four times in the last 7 years. I had to be cordial but I always make the talks short and simple. I avoid my mother and father to an extreme. I only talk to them a few times a year, mainly birthdays and major holidays. I wish I could cut them out of my life for good but, I'd feel guilty. They are a mess and I hate to see them because they are crank addicts and their lives are disgusting. How do I stop these nightmares? I feel like I need a psychologist but I can't afford therapy. I can't talk to them about it because they are a lost cause. I really need help though, its affecting my sanity greatly. What should I do? Can anyone relate?