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Originally Posted by bikerprincess It amazes me though, how easily it feels to me to want to sedate myself. Not because it will change anything, but for the temporary escape from PAIN. |
No surprise, really. Wanting to avoid pain (or any other vestige of reality) is our default setting as alcoholics. You know: "When in doubt, medicate!"
That's why we never outgrow our need for meetings, fellowship, and step work. Some of us
think we outgrow them, but I've never seen anyone succeed that way, and I'm not willing to test myself. I
know I need y'all.
I also know that what you and Christie are going through hurts like hell - especially when you feel you have no voice, no say over all that's going on - but you're doin' all the good, Princess. Meetings, sponsor, sharing, etcetera. Keep hangin' in and comin' back. Underneath all this horses*** there's
got to be a pony!