Just maybe everything that is intended here might be wrong. I too have always wanted to make my treatments plans, my need to do this or that, but forgot the most important factor of the equation, My ideas of doing things got me asking for help in the first place. The core of our disease is Self-Obsession. I think everyone is out to get me. I do all this damage to my self and think very little of myself and think when I need help, everone is going to hurt me, actually I am killing myself and won't turn to the very people that can and will help me,IF I LET THEM. In fact, just asking for help is a step in the right direction, turning down the help that is offered because it doesn't fit my fookish plan can kill me.
I really hope you get help and can move past these reservations, and in the 1st step it tells us that "Reservastion rob us of what recovery has to offer".
i need to find a treatment center to go into soon. i have to plan it out so i can take time away from work. i do need to get clean now though...i cant plan that for the future...i have to do it now. i am going to talk to my doc about beginning the treatment even if this means going by his office everyday to check in. i dont mind that at all and i know it will help me if i have to check in with someone. i will make the deal with him to go into a treatment center in the future for a week ot two at least.
If you want help, the only thing in your way right now is you.
I can handle this, or I can handle it if that............. STOP DOING IT TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!
Have you tried Narcotics Anonymous? Are you willing to go to a NA meeting?
http://portaltools.na.org/portaltoo...0&languages=%20
These are meeting near you!!
Peace,
Todd J.