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Hi Sweet,
Welcome to SR. You will find lots of support here.
I understand how you feel - alone and afraid. But, you can stop it. Just take a step out of the cycle you are in and you can begin to heal. I hope this doesn't sound trite, but it seems like you really need to learn to love yourself because then you wouldn't be trying to harm yourself the way you are. You are worth whatever it takes to get better and you can find lots of support here.
Anna
__________________  And I dont know what the future is holding in store
I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been
There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end.
John Denver |