| I Need To Vent
I have many addictions. My addictions include food and alcohol. I gave up both, alcohol I gave up just over a year ago and food I gave up a few months ago. I also have experimented with cutting. This week my common law who is also an alcoholic went camping for a week with our children from different relationships. It was a total disater for us not the kids, they loved each other. Today after dropping the kids off at our insigificant others I dropped him off at a friends house so he could help the friend move tomorrow. A few hours ago I got a call from him and he was drunk once again, he stays sober a few months and drops off the wagon. He promised to go back to meetings and I go nuts with worry and make myself insane trying to make him stop. I myself have quit all my meetings and now i sit here alone, cut up, drunk and plan on pigging out when I get drunk enough. I am a total mess. I just want it all to stop and I cant stop it...if you cant beat em join em. Deep down I know this is ****** up but I cant stop myself now. I am half way through a bottle of whiskey and need to vent. I never had a sponsor, big mistake. I just need to type this to make it real as I feel like this is a nightmare and I cant wake up. I have relapsed on food for years, but this is my first time relapsing on alcohol and cutting and im scared.
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