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vitalsixthsense · 08-08-2005, 12:25 AM

I did my first 4th & 5th steps 13 years ago when I came into the program. It was very easy to do as there are only a finite number of defects and only a certain number of thoughts that can be blocking me from God at a time. So I listed a snapshot everything that was bothering me at the time. People, places, things, institutions, that I resented, feared or harmed. But I did not understand how to give these things to God, and I was shakey on Steps 1 - 3. I thought I could manage my own life, so I did not need other people or God. And I was not willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. I was in control.

Over the next 2.5 years this failure to follow the directions proceeded to make me miserable. An oldtimer in the program said that if I worked the program my life would get a lot easier. Which helped me to now see that I could not manage my life. I could not control those defects on my own. And I needed Gods help. So I was willing to believe, cause I saw it working in others. Minutes later after I completed the 3rd step prayer I wrote my 4th step. I saw that most of my resentments were petty, most of my fears were irrational, and I was harming people due to my selfishness. The AA book suggests that we write it and look at it in one sitting. There are prayers for restentments, fears, and harms all in how it works, so we don't have to try to control it. We can ask God for help. In step 5 my sponsor showed me where I was to blame, not the other guy. I was probably supposed to see this in step 4, but it didn't happen. When returning home I meditated for an hour like it is suggested. Next I looked at steps 6 & 7. When I took steps 6 & 7 and did not try to control it anymore, a great weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I gave 100% to God, all of me good and bad. The AA book says if I skip steps 5 or 9, I may not overcome drinking. In ten God has removed our drinking problems.

After taking the steps up to 9, ten was still difficult for a while. But after practicing it for a while It began to happen automatically. I just have to continue practicing the rest of the principles, and not forget the God is in Charge.

08-08-2005, 12:25 AM	#6 (permalink)
vitalsixthsense vitalsixthsense Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Frostburg, MD Posts: 18	I did my first 4th & 5th steps 13 years ago when I came into the program. It was very easy to do as there are only a finite number of defects and only a certain number of thoughts that can be blocking me from God at a time. So I listed a snapshot everything that was bothering me at the time. People, places, things, institutions, that I resented, feared or harmed. But I did not understand how to give these things to God, and I was shakey on Steps 1 - 3. I thought I could manage my own life, so I did not need other people or God. And I was not willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. I was in control. Over the next 2.5 years this failure to follow the directions proceeded to make me miserable. An oldtimer in the program said that if I worked the program my life would get a lot easier. Which helped me to now see that I could not manage my life. I could not control those defects on my own. And I needed Gods help. So I was willing to believe, cause I saw it working in others. Minutes later after I completed the 3rd step prayer I wrote my 4th step. I saw that most of my resentments were petty, most of my fears were irrational, and I was harming people due to my selfishness. The AA book suggests that we write it and look at it in one sitting. There are prayers for restentments, fears, and harms all in how it works, so we don't have to try to control it. We can ask God for help. In step 5 my sponsor showed me where I was to blame, not the other guy. I was probably supposed to see this in step 4, but it didn't happen. When returning home I meditated for an hour like it is suggested. Next I looked at steps 6 & 7. When I took steps 6 & 7 and did not try to control it anymore, a great weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I gave 100% to God, all of me good and bad. The AA book says if I skip steps 5 or 9, I may not overcome drinking. In ten God has removed our drinking problems. After taking the steps up to 9, ten was still difficult for a while. But after practicing it for a while It began to happen automatically. I just have to continue practicing the rest of the principles, and not forget the God is in Charge.