[dmajor7th]

There must have been things in your life that you took an interest in-anything-music, sports, art, science, anything you can think of.
You must have had some kind of dreams and probably still do. I know it's extremely difficult when dealing with mental health issues as well as drinking. I know that for me I find it frightening to go out and do things. Do you have a friend that doesn't drink-or at least won't around you and that you could do things with? Start with something easy that you can handle, just an outing with a friend-doing anything that doesn't involve drinking. A movie, a sports game(unless that's a drinking trigger), playing sports, an art class, go to the theatre-anything that involves getting out in the world and keeping busy. There's a whole world out there. With activities that you may have never done, but could try. If you don't really have any interests, think about what you might be interested in and try it. This could be anything-just think about it and then pick something and go out and try to do it. And keep doing this. I found that I couldn't really stop anything until I really made up my mind to do it. It's not enough to want to-nobody wants to be a slave to a substance-nobody wants pain either-but there comes a time when-at least for me-I got sick of not having the life I want. The life I deserve. And I was bloody determined. I wanted to quit things for years and didn't. Until the need for a better life overwhelmed the craving for a substance that just was making things worse. Until I realized that what I was doing wasn't going to get me anywhere and if I wanted a hope for the suffering to stop, or at least lessen-then I had to do it. This is hard to convey in text. Positive things that take your mind off the negative stuff are what you need. If certain activities trigger bad memories, or negative activities-avoid those ones. Take care and keep posting. Wishing you strength!
Sincerely Cate.